Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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