You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
