I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The struggles of a small town man whore
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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