when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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