there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
