Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Drunk is not a location!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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