Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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