i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
