We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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