check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
