..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
