i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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