I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
wanna go halves on a baby?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
