We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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