I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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