i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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