i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
