Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
