Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
