i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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