do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
