I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
