Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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