It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
