I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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