just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
