its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Welp...herpes.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
