We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
