just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
