Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
