Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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