Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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