It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
