Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
