a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
