Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
