There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
