i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
