We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
