Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's blow job season.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
