this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
