Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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