They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
