i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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