I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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