you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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