i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
