Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
