Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
