Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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