Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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