get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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