Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
