Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
